Something I often hear from clients during our sessions is, “Oh I can’t do that exercise.”, “Ugh, I’m terrible at that...”, or, “I don’t think I can go heavier...” And literally, every single time a client says it, she then goes on to do the exercise, lift the heavier weight, succeed at the task at hand.
Why are we women so quick to assume that we can’t do something? Or that when we don’t do something perfectly, that it’s not valid?
At some point in our lives, we’ve told ourselves a certain narrative about what we can and can’t do. Our “story” we’ll call it. The beliefs we’ve made up about ourselves or let someone else decide for us.
We aren’t thin enough. Strong enough. Smart enough. Pretty enough. Talented enough. [Fill in desired adjective here] enough.
I’m here to tell you that these stories/titles/thoughts are holding us back.
Jiddu Krishnamurti, regarded as one of the greatest philosophers and religious teachers of all time, once said, “The day you teach the child the name of the bird, the child will never see that bird again.” Meaning that once you put a name or a title to something, you no longer see the beauty or uniqueness in it, but rather just the name. That one label that it’s been given.
The chubby one. Tomboy. Perfectionist. The emotional one. The shy one. The loud one. Weird. Not normal. Stubborn. Lazy. Weak. Different.
Think back to when you were a little girl. You were enough. You moved with joy and wonder. You were confident in your ability, tried new things, and spent little time focused on how your body looked.
That is until we began to (constantly) see images of women that didn’t look like us. Outside noise (parents, society, friends, marketing companies, magazine, cosmetics, etc.) telling us we should be, act, smell, look a certain way made us slowly start to doubt ourselves and how we look.
We took on titles whether they were true or not. Titles that don’t even begin to reflect the beautiful and unique complexities of who we really are.
We allowed these false ideals to define who we are.
To contain us in boxes that are one size fits all.
How do we fix this? How do we rewrite our own stories to reflect all that we are?
Take the time for some serious self reflection. What are those “things” that you’ve held on to for years. Titles, thoughts, stories, narratives that you’ve either told yourself or have been told about you, that you know aren’t true. Perhaps writing these things down as a way of releasing them?
Pay attention to how you’re speaking to and about yourself. Especially the negative stuff. Learning to speak to yourself as you would a friend. It’s a very different language!
Create a positive affirmation for yourself. It’s a great way to start building some lean self esteem muscle. Affirmations help you to overcome those negative thoughts and reprogram your brain so that over time you’ll begin to think and act differently.
Write down those things you’ve always wanted to do. Explore your special and unique talents! Figure it out, then get that shit out into the world.
In the biggest most beautiful way to share with the world all that is truly you.
We want to thank Rebecca for being a guest blogger for the past few months, and offering amazing content for us! If you'd like to continue following Rebecca, follow her on Facebook and Instagram (@pureformetraining).